Death Awaits Us
by OctaviaWithStarsForEyes
Summary: There was nothing either of them could do now, and a strange sense of peace blanketed them. / What really happened in the elevator during Rogue 1


**I've been lying to you. There is no OC. It's Cassian, for some reason there isn't a character option for him. Enjoy.**

They were descending down the elevator shaft when Jyn came to the conclusion Cassian reached only seconds before.

"They're going to destroy this base when they find out." Jyn breathed, looking up at the stoic captain.

"I know. Death awaits us, my friend." He smiled, and the word 'friend' echoed in both of their minds. Jyn's head tipped back and she relaxed. There was nothing either of them could do now, and a strange sense of peace blanketed them.

"I want you to know." Cassian broke the silence and she looked over at him.

"Know what?"

"What I lost. Before we die." He took a deep breath, and she slipped her hand in his.

"Okay."

His gaze drifted to somewhere she couldn't see. With a deep breath, he began.

"I was five, when I realised what my father was. He was a scientist in the Old Republic with a terrible temper. When the Empire took over, he joined willingly rather than be killed." Cassian laughed mirthlessly and shook his head.

Jyn raised her eyebrows. "I hope you've not forgotten how my father was the same."

He squeezed her hand, and looked at her with an unreadable expression.

"My mother was a cold, calculating, woman. She used to sneak out to Resistance meetings, and take me with her. I never knew what was going on, only that mama and I had a special secret just for us. My brothers never knew what we were doing. I had two brothers. Cypress was the eldest, three years older than me. Then Zion, he was only a year older than me. My sister was one year younger than me, her name was Catarina."

A nostalgic smile played at his lips, as he remembered his siblings.

"Three days after I turned six, I lost everything." As quickly as the smile had appeared, it was gone, and desolation fell over his face. Jyn inhaled in anticipation.

"My mother must have been planning it forever. That day when Papa came home, my mother slipped something in his drink. I was there. I watched from the corner as she slipped the contents of a vial into his drink while he turned his head. I didn't say a thing. That night he was found dead in his bed. The same day, my mother smuggled my siblings and me to the Resistance base closest to us. Zion had always been sweet and tender. He-" a grimly ironic smile twisted Cassian's features. "He resisted going to the Resistance base, because he couldn't leave Papa behind. My mother didn't even blink, she shot right him right in the head. And I left him behind." His voice broke alarmingly, and his eyes shone brightly.

Jyn nudged him and looked him straight in the eyes. "Hey. It wasn't your fault. You would have ended up the same as Zion."

Lost in his memories, it's was as though he didn't even heard her, like he didn't even know she was there. All he seemed capable of doing was talking. The words were spilling out of him and he didn't seem able to stop them.

"We arrived at the Resistance base, where Cypress was immediately swept up into becoming a pilot for them. I never saw him except at nights, usually very late. Once he was old enough to go on missions, he would disappear for days at a time. Until one day, he didn't come back. It was a month before they knew for sure he was dead. That's when they started training me. I was scared, I was only thirteen after all, and I didn't want to leave Catarina alone with my mother. But they didn't really give me a choice. So I went..."

The elevator doors opened, and Jyn got him to lean on her, as they limped down to the beach. Her sore muscles protested, but she ignored them, knowing Cassian needed to finish talking.

They collapsed in the sand in front of the ocean. He closed his eyes, brows creased with regret.

It was a while before he opened them.

Now Cassian was talking low and fast, as if he was afraid he would run out of time.

"I made friends, a tough girl named Tayliss and a mischievous boy named Cilan. One day, I was out on a test flight. Far away from the base. I had taken a wrong turn, and I ended up farther away than I was supposed to be. It took me a while to get back, and I missed an assembly about the upcoming attack that was being planned. When I finally came back, there was no base."

Cassian sighed, clearly in pain. "It had been invaded and destroyed by the Empire. Then it had been blown up. There were no survivors. Everyone had been at the base for the assembly. Except me, for the sheer dumb luck I had." He shook his head in disgust at himself. "I had no choice. I used the ship they had given me for the test run to jump into hyperspace. I ended up at the base on Yavin 4 because it was the evacuation base the leaders of my base had told us all, and it was programmed into the autopilot."

Jyn bit her lip and watched as Cassian struggled to finish.

"Nobody else had made it. And my whole family was gone. My father and Zion, killed by my mother. Cypress, My mother, Catarina, Tayliss, and Cilan, killed by the Empire. What had my family and friends done to be killed? What had I done to deserve to live?" Tears were running down his cheeks, and his voice was shaking violently.

Jyn cupped his face, and used her thumbs to wipe the tears away. "I was fourteen." Cassian whispered, his eyes haunted with memories.

She ran her fingers over his features, smoothing the pain from the deep creases around his mouth, his eyes, his eyebrows, his cheekbones. Cassian closed his eyes, and pressed his forehead to hers. They stood there for a second, hearing the sound of the Death Star's blast slam into the island across the bay from them.

Their time was almost out, and Jyn knew she needed to act. Gathering her courage, she stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him delicately, like the landing of a butterfly. Everything came into sharp focus, explosions, the tropical humidity, the soft sand beneath her feet, the little aches and pains all over her body.

But mostly, the intense fluttering in Jyn's heart, and how Cassian's heartbeat was pounding just as fast. He responded gently, and after a second she drew back to look at him. He smiled in a way that brought a warm feeling to her chest. This time, the kiss is wild and hungry, the kiss of people who know they don't have time, and words can't explain everything they feel.

The waves of destruction were rippling closer to the two intertwined on the beach. He hugged her as close to him as he could, and she held him just as tightly.

When the walls of light slammed into them, they both had tears in their eyes, tears that would never fall.

 **Yeah, Rogue 1 hit me pretty hard. R and R please.**


End file.
